Why the Republic is dead

Quite frankly, I’m not likely to play much Republic side anymore. Got to 50 with my Jedi Knight after holding my breath and bulldozing away to get the last quests done, ability delays and non-working instants included, and went Imperial.

Why? The Republic is dead.

No, not in the sense of “not enough players” that is often mentioned in the forum. No, the in-game, in-universe Republic, as presented by Bioware in this time period is dead. Kaput. Finita. Muerta. All that is left is a dessicated husk, and through your adventures you come to realize that you’re serving with the jackals who are fighting for the last scraps of the carcass, trying to feed themselves and starve everyone else.

There’s nothing but petty politicking, backstabbing, hand-greasing and profiteering by any and all means necessary, up to and including things that would make the Emperor blush with envy. You realize this when you set foot in Coruscant, and is only reinforced when, through your travels, you notice that anywhere you go the Republic never offers adequate support to anyone, anywhere, ever. Probably because the politicians are too busy lining their pockets with human trafficking, selling secrets, people, or even planets to the Empire, or just plain being douchebags.

Gonna have to put a rather large spoiler chunk here:

You’ve been warned, spoilers ahead.

Alderaan? Yep, you guessed it, politicking and backstabbing and only that, ever, everywhere, all the time. And everyone takes it in stride, it’s freaking business as usual! Everyone backstabs, everyone is for sale, everyone is corrupt.

Taris? A reconstruction effort worthy of McGyver, consisting of a few people with pea shooters and a few rolls of duct tape. Calling it an “effort” is rather generous. Going to the loo after a week of constipation is an effort. This doesn’t even compare, and not in a good way. Workers are held at gunpoint under inhuman conditions or face months of imprisonment if they want to leave, soldiers get sent to the planet until they die for as many tours of duty as that takes (many years, going by what some soldiers you find say) with no contact with their loved ones.

Of course, that’s nothing compared to Hoth, where the woefully unprepared kids of the Republic Army (who lack guts, conviction, or possibly even a freaking reason to fight for the Republic in the first place) prove themselves to be completely useless. It’s hard to believe whatever you’re chasing in the godforsaken planet is so bloody important when you see how seriously the Republic takes it in the first place, something that repeats itself time and again as you find the Republic army to be less of an army than a bunch of drunken Gungans on a Saturday Night binge.

But even that is nothing compared to Belsavis, where you find out what exactly the Republic has been up to in their “planet prison.” I mean, we’re the good guys here and we’ve got a whole bunch of people trapped in there forever because they were BORN in the planet prison.



Don’t worry, we’re from the Republic, and we’re here to help!

Small wonder that the Voss don’t seem to be able to choose sides between the Republic and the Empire. My advice to them would have been to get armed to the teeth and never let any ship ever land on their planet, no matter which side they represent.

And it all comes together when you get your butt to Corellia. One of the core worlds, pillar of the Republic, yadda yadda. All through the quest line you are shown the narrow minded pettiness of everyone involved as you choose sides time after time without being given the third “burn both sides to the ground” choice. The supposedly super-important planet that drives the war effort for the Republic gets so completely taken over that you have to personally clear of enemies a chunk of land big enough for a shuttle to land, you find out why the Republic army is in shambles (something to do with, literally, trillions of credits embezzled by one of the weapon makers there), and all because, big-***********-surprise, the “powers that be” of the planet have sold it to the Empire.


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. I want to grab a flamethrower and burn the Senate building to the ground.

During a special session of the Senate.

With all doors barred.

And windows too, just in case.

In the aftermath of Corellia, Twi’lek whassherface says something to the effect of “if this is what happens in one of our core planets of the Republic, who knows what other planets may be on the brink of something similar”.

Who knows? I do! All of them!

Can I have a sports question next?

And that’s just generalities, there’s so many more quests that will have you shaking your head it’s unbelievable.

So yes, it’s the darkest hour of the Republic, the Empire is gaining ground, united we stand! Or not, rather it’s every man for himself, and do some grabbin’ while the grabbin’ is good. I suppose it’s the inevitable outcome of decades of moral deconstructivism, where good vs. bad is not cool or hip because it’s [i]sooooo been done before[/i]. The current crop of writers we’ve been graced with in this game don’t simply refuse to have a good vs. bad scenario, I honestly believe they’re incapable of creating an inspiring good side at all.

So you’re left with, on the one side, the Empire with the big bad guy trying to take over the Galaxy, and on the other side a motley crowd of tin pot dictators and profiteers who, under the guise of legitimacy, give the Emperor a run for his money, if not in territory conquered, at least in scumbagness. And no matter how much Bioware love their dark and dark grey morality… thing, it’s pretty damn hard to care much when all you’re presented with is plain *********** evil and you have to pick your poison.

Once you reach that point, you may as well do what every actor offered the role of the bad guy in a B-series movie with poor production and terrible script does, and that’s to Unleash the Hog and play it like a Large Ham, go overboard in your quest for UNLIMITED POWEEEERRRRRR, and in general have a grand ol’ time as you romp through the movie set. Because once the world fails to get you involved, that’s all it is, a set for you to follow a script that’s not so great to begin with.

And if I’m going to do that, I may as well choose the side that lets me smite fools when they annoy me or tell Mandalore to go eff himself if I feel like it, instead of the side that treats me like a complete idiot and berates my idiocy for following the only path laid out for me.

Why play the Republic indeed? The sooner the Empire takes over, the better. At least that way it’ll be more obvious there’s a despot in charge, and there’s more of a chance that the general population will rise and free themselves. And if the Republic falls, so much the better.

Bunch of hypocrites, all of them; and will continue to be as long as Bioware keeps writing them I’m afraid.

In the meantime, I have scenery to chew and lightning to shoot from my fingers.


~ by The Sarlacc on January 27, 2012.

One Response to “Why the Republic is dead”

  1. […] have voiced my displeasure before about the way the Republic has been written, and I thought the Republic-side Voss Quests took the cake for hair-tearing bad writing, but sweet […]

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